Bizzare Friendships Work
by Selonianth
Summary: Bometimes the most different of people, a Shepard and Pirate Queen for instance, get along. Sometimes, Bizzare Friendships Work. Rated T for now, May go up in later chapters. FShep/Liara Aria/Tevos
1. A Friendship is Struck

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Mass Effect, Sorry.

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Shepard stood, her business with Aria complete for now having done Aria the favor of dealing with Patriarch's assassins. As she turned to leave she heard the Pirate Queen of Omega's voice ring out. "You should find a nice boy to keep you company in the meantime, you're too tense."

Shepard stopped, reached to her left bracer and a low kssssss sounded in the space between them as the Spectre removed the bracer, her skin almost purple in the flashing lights. Holding her forearm where Aria could see it there was a bracelet. An Asari bonding bracelet to be precise. Liara had given it to her shortly before the Battle of the Citadel and thought it lost after the SR1 was destroyed. The asari had given it to her again when she found the Asari on Illium, she'd forced the detour when she'd heard of Liara's location.

"Ah. I didn't know you were wrist-bound. Apologies," Aria's voice answered the unspoken statement. Something that slightly stunned her guards, Aria T'Loak never apologized.

"Not exactly something we advertised," Shepard responded, the bracer returning to her forearm with another ksssss. Then she continued her trip down the steps and out of the club.

Watching her go Aria touched her own wrist, wishing she could wear her own bracelet but couldn't, her bondmate couldn't be connected to her publicly... not yet. Maybe if the Matriarch's found something else to focus on they could... no, it would not do to ponder on what if's. It would only make her long for something that it wasn't time for. Patience, it wasn't something she was a very big fan of but she could do it.

"Aria... are you feeling ok? You never apologize." Anto asked, well aware that if she decided to those would be the last words he spoke on this plane of existence.

Aria instead gave him an amused glance. "I may not be the most loyal asari, or the most traditional, but even I don't violate an asari bonding bracelet. Shepard is wrist-bound to an asari, and I suspect I know who. I apologized because I felt it was the right thing to do."


	2. Learning Details About a Friend

It had been a while since Shepard had been able to unwind, she'd been rather busy building the team and now Horizon and seeing Ashley again made her slightly stressed, so here she was at Omega. A place that was nice and simple, there were no rules except one and Shepard enjoyed toeing that one rule.

Bypassing the line, as she usually did with nothing more than a nod to the batarian bouncer behind the Elcor like-keeper she jogged inside, for once not clad in full armor. She trusted her barriers to keep her safe enough for her to unleash some serious damage with her biotics. Plus she was well known to be a personal guest of Aria and no one, other than her, would go anywhere near crossing the One Rule of Omega.

So it was dressed in the least-Cerberusy outfit she had, that wasn't that horrible dress or downright terrible colonial outfit, that she made her way to Aria's balcony, which curiously enough had it's privacy barrier up. She had tried to find something semi-clubby that didn't clash with her mocha colored skin but it was simply impossible. Apparently Cerberus didn't care about her needing to unwind, and certainly not about her desire to not constantly be accused of working for them, so all she had was a pair of bluejeans and an old N7 hoodie. Better than the Cerberus uniforms which not only looked horrible on her, but also had the whole 'You work for Cerberus' thing against them.

Her line of thought on how annoying it was that people kept accusing her of working for the terrorist group was cut drastically short as she came into sight of Aria's couch to find the reason the privacy barrier was up. Aria T'loak, Queen of the Pirates and Empress of the Terminus Systems was necking with Thea Tevos, Asari Councilor to the Citadel. Holy shit.

Unfortunately Jennifer Shepard had never been much for thinking only in her head so the "Holy Shit." was said out loud, at a high enough volume that even the very engaged couple startled and half of it froze, while the more purple half turned slowly to look at the source of the noise.

"Oh thank god, it's just you," Aria breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that she couldn't have simply threatened or killed anyone who might have stumbled upon her and Thea together, it was simply that the more people who knew the more people who could spill her secret to the wrong person and Thea would be hurt.

"'It's just you'? Aria! Shepard is supposed to respect me! What if she tells someone?!" Tevos hissed at Aria, seemingly ignoring Shepard's existence for the moment, which was just fine with the human spectre. She was still trying to reconcile the idea of prim and proper Tevos making out with Aria T'Loak, the asari who spat on the ideas of being prim and proper and then buried them just for good measure.

"Oh do calm down love, Shepard is trustworthy. Aren't you Shepard?" Aria asked lightly, the normally present implied threat left out of the question, the Pirate Queen wasn't stupid. Threatening the human spectre was known to not only make her belligerent but triggerhappy. Plus, after her alleged death at the hands of the Collectors, and the spectres return to the land of the living, her biotic powers had quickly approached that of a veteran Asari Commando, if not rivalling those of a Justicar.

Shepard shook herself from her shock over finding Tevos on Omega making out with the Empress of the Terminus systems and walked over to sit on the couch, "I won't tell anyone. I know my wife would be... cross with me if I did anything that could jeopardize the career of her favorite asari governmental figure. I do have one question though..."

"What?" Thea couldn't help but ask even though in her gut she felt she might not really want to ask.

"What do I even call you here? I mean, calling you councilor seems so... formal considering I can tell you're not wearing a bra and I just saw you making out with Aria T'Loak, but I don't know your first name, or if you want me using it," Shepard blurted out.

Aria laughed heartily at that, she'd never seen the normally domineering Shepard so... awkward. Shepard normally projected a feeling of such utter confidence her guards often called the Spectre a cocky human, unfortunately Aria doubted she'd ever see this side of Shepard again, goddess knew she'd tried before.

Thea flushed at Aria's laugh and Shepard's question. "My name is Thea, and I suppose that in informal meetings you could call me as such... I would be honored if you would do so actually, goddess knows it's stressful always being looked at as the Asari Councilor first and as an individual asari last."

Shepard smiled, her awkwardness calming slowly, "I'd offer the same, but honestly I never really liked my first name anyway. That's why everyone, including my close friends, call me Shepard."

Aria nodded her head slowly in understanding, "I'd been wondering why none of the various videos of you and your team after the Battle of the Citadel had anyone mentioning you by your first name in it."

Shepard nodded, "Yea, the team all knows of my aversion of my first name and they oblige me."

"Well, it was nice meeting you in an informal environment for once Shepard, but I couldn't stay long when I got here and I really must be heading to the place I was supposed to be going when I made the detour to Omega..." Tevos smiled and giving Aria one more kiss, that had Shepard raising an eyebrow at how passionate it was, the asari tossed on a hoodie Shepard hadn't noticed and made her way back off the balcony and out of the club.

Shepard just raised an eyebrow at Aria after Tevos left.

"What?" The pirate queen asked with that same arrogant smirk she often had.

"You and Tevos?" Shepard taunted.

Aria shrugged. "She's fun and she needs to unwind sometimes, us getting together was an accident actually... We were friends once, before I came to Omega and became Aria T'loak. She found me after I claimed Omega from the Patriarch. Nearly ruined Aria before she really began. Didn't see her again for two centuries, then shortly before your people came back onto the scene she had a stressful day and I guess she'd been drinking cause next thing I know she's on my doorstep at my personal section of this station, no idea how she got there to this day, drunk and kissing me."

Shepard chuckled at the entertaining mental mage, "Heh, can't imagine you being caught off guard like that. Anyway, I came here for a little bit of relaxation myself, just not the kind she was here for. I figured you might want to do a little actual partying as well so I decided what the hell and came here."

Aria laughed and ordered a couple drinks brought to them, Shepard was right. She was so often occupied with business that normally the music of the club was just white noise in the background. She needed to relax, just a little.

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A/N: Reflecting my extremely recent decision to FINALLY make a Shepard who is a Biotic, this Shep is an Adept if anyone was wondering. Also, is it just me... or are biotics UBER slow in 2 compared to 3?


	3. Friend's Help Each Other

Shepard sat down on Aria's couch, relaxing in the chest-thumping music of the club.

"It's been a while Shepard. When my men reported your ship entering the Omega-4 Relay I didn't think I'd see you again. Glad you proved me wrong," the light purple Asari with aggressive facial markings greeted the Spectre.

Shepard smiled back. "And how is the pirate queen?"

Aria shrugged, "I can't complain, you and your friend Archangel managed to throw the merc bands into chaos, it's proving to be childsplay to take control of them in this state. I trust your instinct and judgement Shepard, if you say the Reapers are coming then I'll do what I can to prepare the Terminus for them."

"Thank you Aria. At least you're listening to me." Shepard groaned, remembering her attempts to convince the Council, and the Alliance for that matter, of the inevitable return of the Reapers, led by Harbinger.

Aria frowned, Shepard was one of the few who knew her to be alive that she could count as allies, almost a friend. "The council still giving you a hard time?"

"Sparatus mostly. Valern is too logical to ignore one of the best STG operatives they've ever had, even if he has been retired for a few years. Tevos, well. We both know why she's been so helpful," Shepard responded with a wink and a grin at the Queen of Omega who mock-glared back at the Spectre.

"I haven't told Thea anything about my views concerning the Reapers and she hasn't asked," Aria defended before her mock-glare dissolved into a smile.

"She doesn't need to. I know you two are embracing eternity every time she can get away from the constant badgering of the various ambassadors," Shepard taunted.

"Tevos is far too submissive to find such information during a meld, and we have not yet gone as deeply as you and your bondmate regularly do," Aria shrugged, not caring that she'd just revealed that Tevos was a bottom to someone who was, technically speaking, supposed to look to Thea as a superior.

Shepard chuckled, "Didn't need to know who wears the pants in your relationship. Suppose it's payback for when I bragged about that thing Liara does when she's on the edge though isn't it?"

Aria smirked, "Would I do a thing like that?"

Shepard didn't hesitate, "Yep."

Aria pouted tauntingly now, "How mean."

Shepard outright laughed, "You love me and you know it. Say, what say we do a little reveal with our respectful bondmates that we both know that the other's bondmate is a sub?"

Aria laughed, Thea's face when she and Liara were outed to each other as both being subs would be simply brilliant. "I don't see why not, could be fun."

"Well then, I have to go. Liara is hooked up to a toy right now and I'm afraid the hour trip back to Illium will be about all she can handle. Then I suppose I should get around to seeing if she thinks that intel we got on the location of the Shadow Broker is accurate. I wasn't sure, but I suppose I'll leave that to her to decide. It's not even that precise, just a group of hints," Shepard spoke, standing from the couch to leave.

Aria perked up. "Oh that? I know where his ship is. I wasn't sure if I should give it to Liara before, when she came here for my help in getting your body back, but if you're going to look for him with her I suppose I could help. An old friend of mine used to work for the broker, she got... shall we say retired, after a botched mission but I managed to track down where her ship last jumped to. I didn't use the information myself because while she used to be a friend she had just tried to kill me, that was the botched mission," the purple asari paused to type something into her omni-tool and Shepard's flashed. "There, those are the coordinates of where he's hiding. Your ship's sensors should be sophisticated enough to find him with that. Good hunting."

"It will be," Shepard grinned, the grin momentarily so utterly predatory that Aria felt she was looking into a mirror five hundred years previous for a moment before the grin faded. She watched Shepard leave and couldn't help but feel just a little sorry for the Broker, he had no idea who he'd pissed off.


	4. Friendship Marks You

Shepard sighed in relief as she slumped into her customary spot to Aria's right on the couches of Omega's balcony.

Aria gave her a curious look as she looked over a datapad about the last shipment of Red Sand that Eclipse had sent to their Omega warehouses, after she threatened the three groups with being hunted across the Terminus Systems with bounties the size of their collective fleet's weight because of the proof that they were going to try taking her down they'd... agreed to more strict control of their activities at least on Omega itself. "What has you so wound up?"

"Well, that intel you gave us for the Broker was accurate, found his ship easily enough. Then we had to fight through another Spectre, apparently who works with him on occasion in exchange for intel, his army of mercenaries, oh and the Broker himself. Only, it wasn't the same broker that sent your friend after you, it was a Yahg who killed the old broker," Shepard began, grabbing at a drink offered by the purple-skinned Asari.

Aria raised an eyebrow at the fact that a Yahg became the Shadow Broker. Also wincing in slight sympathy. Even with Shepard's powerful biotics it couldn't have been easy to defeat such a bulk.

Shepard nodded acknowledgement of the wince, "And then Liara, in a fit of wisdom, decides to become the Shadow Broker so as to not lose all of his sources and contacts. Don't get me wrong, now at least I can trust the Broker not to do something especially stupid like side with the Reapers, but Liara was a workaholic before she was given the Broker's workload. If I didn't know she'd be upset with me for doing it I'd handcuff her ass to the bed and see how long it takes to drive her totally sex-crazed, just to relax her."

Aria chuckled now, "Thea is the same way occasionally, gets so caught in work I have to sneak onto the Citadel just to ambush her in her office. That desk has had her assprint on it more than once because of it."

Shepard laughed. "We're both in love with workaholic subs. I'd get matching facial tattoo's but they wouldn't work so well with my having hair and all."

Aria tried to picture Shepard with her facial markings and shook her head, "You're right, they would be very weird looking on your face."

"Pity, they're pretty sexy on your face," Shepard joked back, she wasn't joking but it was only harmless flirtation.

Aria laughed before her brain remembered a history lesson she was once given, in the human equivalent of elementary school, that mentioned tattoo's that Asari gave to their closest friends. It was after this recollection sprang to her mind that Aria realized that Shepard really was her only real friend she still knew, and the closest friend she'd ever really had, Thea not withstanding. "What about if we get matching tattoo's? There's an old Asari tradition, hasn't been observed in almost ten thousand years, but it involves two close friends tattooing each other's arms in a style that is relevant to them, and their tribe."

"Well, I'm not from a tribe that I know of, I don't even know where I was born. Not exactly, I know I grew up in Greece but the city I was actually born in..." Shepard pondered, the idea was sound... but what to do with the tattoo's.

"Well you'd wear my tribe anyway, which in this case is not the T'Loak tribe, the real life T'Loaks were absorbed into my family's tribe shortly before the Republics appeared. The tribe my family belonged to was the Al'Siani tribe. Depending on what city you were born in, we could do something similar for you," Aria mused, her brain already causing the Tattoo's to come to life in her mind's eye.

Something occurred to Shepard and she laughed, "Oh you're gonna love this. I grew up in a city called Sparta. In Sparta's heyday, before it and the other city-states in Greece solidified into the country Greece, Sparta was home to the greatest army in Europe, the section of Earth it calls home. There's a legend where a small force, only a thousand or so, held off an enemy force of over five-hundred thousand for three days using their knowledge of the terrain and superior tactical knowledge to force the enemies to fight on their terms. On Earth they're looked up to as a fighting force who knew going in that they would not survive, they simply wanted to delay the invading force for long enough for the other city-states to ready themselves for war. It worked, when the invaders reached the first city-state the rest of the army of Sparta was waiting, and they were pissed."

Aria laughed with her friend, the story did in fact fit Shepard to a T as it were. A soldier so good, so disciplined, that she could cut swaths in professional mercenary forces with apparent ease. "It's fitting," She admitted as she stood, "Come on, we'll go to my private apartment."

At Aria's apartment the purple-skinned asari had a tattoo machine, she claimed it was because she'd learned how to give tattoo's before leaving Thessia but Shepard didn't believe her.

At any rate Shepard agreed to go first and sat down to let Aria work inking the tat on her right bicep. Declining a mirror to look at Aria's work while the asari worked she saw it for the first time when it was done. The tattoo might resemble what a person from Earth would call a tribal tattoo, if the sharp lines were softer and more organic. There were no sharp points, harsh turns or thorns. It's lines were soft and smooth, delicate but strong.

"Try flaring your biotics," Aria suggested with a knowing grin.

Shepard did so and was stunned at how the ink in her tattoo flared up blue when the mass effect field formed.

"It's a special ink Asari normally use to make these," Aria informed the Spectre as she indicated her own facial markings. "The ink embedded in your skin is used as a sort of irremovable amp. A tattoo this size is enough that you'd be a fairly powerful biotic even without what Cerberus did to you."

Shepard looked down at the tattoo that covered almost her entire right bicep, it's soft swirls spelling something out in asari, "What does it say?"

Aria smiled warmly, not the normal smirk but a true smile, "The Scion of the House of Al'Siani calls you friend."

Shepard's brow crinckled, "Won't that lead them to you and ruin your identity?"

"I'm not terribly worried," Aria shrugged. "Not many will see it, and even should they see it and be able to read it even fewer will be able to actually connect it with me."

Shepard smiled and claimed the tattoo-pen from her purple asari friend, pausing for a moment before she thought of an old Spartan saying she could write and carefully placed a Spartan shield on Aria's right arm, then around the top edge of the shield "Ρωτήστε όχι πόσα." and around the bottom "Ρωτήστε αντί πού είναι."

Aria looked at it, "I believe it's my turn, what does it say?"

"'Ask not how many. Ask where are they.' It's an old saying the Spartans had. Instead of asking how many their enemy was, they would ask where they were. The number was unimportant," Shepard replied, remembering that learning of the Spartans during military academy had been one of her most happy memories.

Aria smiled, "Fitting. Come, we'll return to Afterlife for a drink... I think a little celebration is in order, I forgot to mention that giving you that specific tattoo means we're essentially family now, I hope that's not a problem."

Shepard gave Aria a small hug, "Not a problem... not a problem at all."

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A/N: "Ρωτήστε όχι πόσα. Ρωτήστε αντί πού είναι;" came from a google translate so if anyone who actually knows greek can correct, the undoubtedly wrong grammar and shit, I would appreciate it.


	5. Friends Don't Let Friends Hide

Shepard grinned in the dark room at Aria, their plot to surprise their respective significant others was about to come to a head. Aria had lured Thea to her apartment on Omega and had blindfolded and bound the submissive politician to a chair. Getting Liara there had been much more difficult, the information broker didn't particularly like Omega and on top of it getting her away from her self-appointed job as the Shadow Broker was always a trick.

She'd managed it by preying on her bondmate's fetish for being blind, while knowing she was protected. She'd told Liara that they would go to a city where no one knew her, and Shepard would parade her around blindfolded. The idea of being seen by strangers who she herself couldn't see had made the broker gush.

Instead Shepard had Joker dock at one of Aria's private docks, one of the only ways to Aria's private apartment, and had taken Liara straight into Aria's private playroom. Stripping the blue archaeologist had been tricky, the young asari thought they were in a semi-public place instead of a place so private only Shepard's cabin on the Normandy was more private. Still, Liara had submitted to her mistress' demands and allowed Shepard to strip her down before she bound her into a chair.

With a nod to Aria, and a silent count, both domme's ripped the blindfold's off their respective subs, who were facing each other and equally nude, at the same time.

Predictably both submissive asari squealed and attempted to cover up when they noticed they weren't alone with their domme as they had thought and were predictably and hilariously foiled by the bonds they'd allowed themselves to be put into.

Both subs recovered at almost the same time, exclaiming, "Liara?!/Tevos?!"

Shepard smirked and looked over at Aria, "Aria?!"

The pirate queen got the joke and returned it, "Shepard?!"

"What's going on Mist-Shepard/Aria!?" The two submissive's yelped at their respective mistresses.

"Just doing a little show and tell. See, we found out a while ago that both of you are submissive little pets who just love to do our bidding. Naturally, we couldn't stand to see such good friends as the two of you labor to hide this facet from each other so we brought you here. Now we're gonna have a bit of fun," Aria explained, motioning for Shepard to continue as she walked out of the pair of subs' view range.

"See. Aria was just about to go on one of her visits to the Citadel when I suggested this instead. She leapt at the chance to not only avoid having to sneak through security, but also to play a little game. The point of this game is simple. See, other than both of you being workaholics to the extreme, and submissives, you also have something else in common," Shepard paused to help Aria wheel a table into the pair's line of sight, the table was littered with all manners of instruments exceptionally well suited to tickle the living daylights out of someone. Aria and Shepard smirked when Liara and Thea exchanged panicked glances.

Aria picked right up where Shepard left off, "That's right, you're both ticklish as hell. Only, it wouldn't be any fun if it was quite as simple as we're going to tickle you now. Oh no. Shepard and I made a bet you see, I bet that I could make little Liara squeal louder and faster than she could do the same to Thea."

Both asari paled at the sadistic grins adorned by their respective domme's, though one of the pair narrowed her eyes in determination a moment later.

Several long and torturously ticklish hours later Aria gave Shepard a frown as she passed her a credit chit while the two looked over their bondmates, both of whom had passed out near the end of the events. Much to Aria's disappointment however Thea had squealed like a pig being sent to slaughter right before she passed out from overload, a full ten minutes before Liara passed out with naught but a whimper.

"What do you do to her on a regular basis to make her so unsquealable?" Aria muttered as they untied their respective subs and carried them to Aria's nearby bed to sleep their exhaustion off.

"Nothin'," Shepard grinned, pride in her bondmate echoing through her words, "That's just my girl being her usual beautiful, loyal, and, possibly most importantly, stubborn self. She squeals just fine for me."

Aria gave her a mock frown, "Don't have to rub it in. Thea isn't as stubborn as Liara is..."

Shepard just gave a smirk and sat on the bed next to Liara, stroking her slumbering bondmate's cheek with a couple fingers.

Another more tender scene played out when the pair of subs woke up, but that's a story for next time.


End file.
